When your child tells a lie, giving a lecture about why it’s wrong is probably not going to help them change their behavior. But even so, as James advises, treating it that way is not likely to help solve the problem. We talk with many people on the who feel that lying is a moral issue. Chronic dishonesty and exaggeration, on the other hand, should be addressed – but maybe not in the ways you think. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology, an occasional fib from a child is nothing to get too concerned about. For some, lying can seem like an easy way to deal with the stress of being a teenager. Teens and pre-teens are navigating some pretty challenging waters. Why Doesn’t My Child Care that Lying is Wrong?Īdolescence is such a tough time: trying to fit in, feeling unfairly judged or limited, wanting to be seen as powerful even while you feel completely powerless. If your child is lying about things that might be dangerous, involving drug or alcohol use, stealing, or other risky behavior, seek resources and support in your local community. Make no mistake, lying that results in, or covers for, unsafe or illegal behavior must be addressed directly.
It’s important to differentiate here between lies that cover up for drug use or other risky behavior, as opposed to “every day lies” that some teens tell just as a matter of habit or convenience. They may lie as a way to get attention, to make themselves seem more powerful or attractive to others, to get sympathy or support, or because they lack problem-solving skills. Like many adults, kids can also be less than honest at times because they think the truth isn’t interesting enough. They might think it will get them what they want, or get them out of a sticky situation. Some teens develop the habit of telling half-truths or exaggerating about things that seem completely irrelevant or unnecessary. I’ve heard my stepson claim a “bad connection” while speaking to a relative on the phone, rather than simply telling them, “I don’t want to talk right now.” When asked, he says he doesn’t want to hurt that person’s feelings by saying he wanted to get off the phone. Sometimes kids tell white lies to protect other people. James Lehman explains that kids lie for many reasons: to cover their tracks, to get out of something they don’t want to do, and to fit in with their peers. Unfortunately, teens and pre-teens often lie or tell only part of the truth. What should I do?”īy acknowledging the lie without moralizing or lecturing, you are sending a powerful message to your child that being dishonest won’t get them what they wantĭealing with lying is frustrating and confusing for many parents.
He’s not a bad kid, but I just don’t understand why he lies so often, especially when telling the truth would be easier.
It’s come to the point where I don’t take anything he says at face value. He also exaggerates to make his stories more dramatic or to make himself sound bigger. “He lies about his schoolwork, what he ate for lunch and whether or not he’s brushed his teeth. “My 17 year old son lies all the time,” a mother said to me recently.
0 kommentar(er)
